How to Heal From Past Wounds: A Journey Toward Wholeness

We all carry wounds from our past. Maybe it's a painful childhood memory, a broken relationship, a betrayal, or a traumatic experience that left invisible scars. These wounds don't just disappear with time—they shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we navigate the world. The good news? Healing is possible. It may not be easy, but with intention, support, and faith, you can move from merely surviving to truly thriving.

The first step in healing is acknowledging the pain. Many of us spend years minimizing our hurt, telling ourselves we should be "over it" by now. But as trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk reminds us, "The body keeps the score." Our bodies remember what our minds try to forget. Denying your pain doesn't make it go away—it just pushes it deeper, where it festers and affects your mental, emotional, and even physical health.

Giving yourself permission to grieve is essential. Whether you're mourning a lost relationship, a missed opportunity, or the childhood you never had, grief is a natural and necessary part of healing. Psalm 34:18 tells us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God doesn't condemn you for your pain—He meets you in it.

Healing also requires forgiveness, but let's be clear: forgiveness is not the same as forgetting or excusing what happened. Forgiveness is about releasing the hold that the offense has on your heart. It's about freeing yourself from the prison of resentment and bitterness. As author and spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson says, "Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."

You may need to forgive others, but you may also need to forgive yourself. Many people carry shame and guilt over things they did or didn't do, mistakes they made, or ways they failed to protect themselves. Self-forgiveness is a powerful act of self-compassion. It doesn't mean you condone past behavior—it means you recognize your humanity and choose to move forward with grace.

Healing is not a linear process. Some days you'll feel strong and hopeful; other days the pain may resurface unexpectedly. That's okay. Progress isn't about never having bad days—it's about learning to navigate them with greater resilience and self-compassion. Licensed therapist and author Lori Gottlieb writes, "We can't have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same."

One of the most transformative steps you can take is seeking professional help. A trained counselor can provide a safe space to process your pain, identify harmful patterns, and develop healthier coping strategies. Therapy isn't a sign of weakness—it's a sign of courage. It takes strength to face your wounds and do the hard work of healing.

Faith can also be a powerful source of healing. Turning to God in prayer, meditating on Scripture, and connecting with a faith community can provide comfort, hope, and perspective. Isaiah 41:10 offers this promise: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Surrounding yourself with supportive people is crucial. Healing happens in connection. Whether it's a trusted friend, a support group, or a faith community, you need people who can hold space for your pain without judgment. Isolation keeps you stuck; community propels you forward.

Practice self-care intentionally. Healing isn't just about addressing the past—it's about creating a healthier present and future. This might include regular exercise, adequate sleep, healthy eating, journaling, creative expression, or mindfulness practices. Taking care of your body supports your emotional and spiritual healing.

Finally, be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. There's no timeline for how long it "should" take to feel better. Honor your pace. Celebrate small victories. Recognize that every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. You are not broken—you are healing. And that makes all the difference.

If you're ready to begin or continue your healing journey, reach out for help. A compassionate counselor can walk with you through the process, offering guidance, validation, and hope. You don't have to carry your wounds alone. Wholeness is waiting for you.